Friendship

In mandarin "在家靠父母，出外靠朋友" has showed the importance of friends, but can you define friendship? We all know that we should be loyal to friends, treat them nicely, and etc. However, I realised I don't know how to maintain a good friendship when I grow up. *well, I do have good friends; just that something happens make me think of this question* One of my friends always ignore or neglect us (all) when she has a boyfriend; vice versa. The level of ignorance is totally @@

Case:
A, B, C, D are quite close to one another and they promise to tell the others if one of them is involved in relationship (romance). As friends, they are glad to share, support, and even bless the others. One day, A coupled and she didn't tell anyone of them; yet B found out. *conversation below*

B : Why you did not tell us you couple? Didn't we promise that?

A : Why do I have to tell you all? I don't think we are close.

B : What? We are not close? We know each other for so long.

A : Well, we just meet once a week for so many years; I don't think we are close enough and I don't think it is necessary to update you regarding this matter. 

Reflective:

I understand it is not a necessary to update friends about it, but words that spoken are really hurt. So, who are B,C,D to her for these few years? Chatting machines that be with her when she has no man? This is not the first time A treated her friends like this. Before this, she even ignored C because of her boyfriend; however, she would find C when she broke up with her boyfriend. Is this taking friend for granted? Hmmm I don't know. Well, no matter hoe she treats her friends, I will still be a good friend for her. "Treat others like how you wish to be treated" ;)

Lies- M vs F

Sorry to be slightly bias as I will tend to speak from a female's perspective

"I love her, thus I dont want to hurt her" 

is always the reason to lie. 

Doesn't this hurt her deeper when she finds out the lies? Well, unless you plan to break up with her with a beautiful ending, or else please be honest to her. Man knows the consequences of lying to woman; he knows he gotta pissed her off, but due to he manage to resound her with laughter, she will forgive the matter temporarily. Lies are like bombs in a romantic relationship, because the next time the couple has argument, there is a high chance that the woman will bring up the previous "lie" matter which totally annoys the man. 

Man's mind : Over means past, why she wants to mention about that? Too free is it?

Woman's mind : He had lied to me once, there are chances that he will lie to me again. 

Speaking from a woman's stand, 

Lie creates uncertainty to a woman. The key point is she does not have the courage to trust the man anymore. The more he lies, the lesser she trusts him; even though she doesn't show it externally (which the man thinks he has got over it). If you choose to lie, you are choosing to break her trust towards you; thus, do not blame why she questions you again. Well, the man may later realised it was his fault and he wants to turn over a new leave, yet his woman still questioning him- man gets SUPER frustrated. Remember, you choose to break the trust, you need to pay much more hard work to rebuild the trust; unless you do not want her, that's a different story. If you love her why do you want to lie to her at the first place? Man always think that woman wants the best answer; in fact a real woman, who truly loves her man, wants the truth- she wishes to understand, to assist, and to be with him always. 

Life IS Fragile

Life is so fragile, life is so cruel.My deepest condolences and prayers go out to her family and loved ones. You will always be in our hearts, Shu Ern. May you rest in peace.

I still remember one of my friends passed away because of heart attack when we were form 4, and now another friend (Shu Ern) drown in Tioman. It was supposed to be a wonderful and happy trip but ..... I suddenly feel that no matter who you are despite of gender, height, weight, capabilities, and etc, your life will just ended in a second- and that's the end. How can life be so fragile? You just can't do anything but leaving your soul from your body. We always have the mindset that only old people will pass away; in these cases, my friends who were so energetic and enthusiastic about their lives, ended their lives at the climax of their lives.

I talked to my little friend, he said "That's why must appreciate the moment with your loved one". Then, I feel bit worried because I am going to Pulau Redang next week, will this happen to me? *touchwood* Seriously, if this happens to me, I think I cannot let go as I have so many things haven't done in my life; like I haven't graduate, I haven't step into the real world, I haven't find my Mr Right, I haven't marry, I haven't give allowances to my parents, I haven't go so many places around the world. There are too many things that I haven't do or accomplish.

Well, Life IS fragile, enjoy and appreciate every second that you have passed, don't take it for granted. Life does not take two. 

Updates

WORKLOAD

I am currently.....

1. Full time study degree student- psychology
2. AW in 2nd KL GB
3. Vice President of HELP Psychology Department Student Council
4. Vice President of Rescue Club
5. Publicity of Circle K

*look at the workload that I have to face in coming years @@  No time to couple already T.T

SEMESTER BREAK

Finally, the short semester has ended. It's summer timeee!!! Well, I have many plans for semester breaks as usual HAHA, but I wish to find part-time job as well (to gain experience). Hmmm, what to do leh? 

Please introduce me if you have any nice jobs :) 

RELATIONSHIP

Well, I am currently single and you may wonder why I will take about relationship here. Hmm, recently there is a guy who treated me seriously nice (I din misund), but I have no feelings at all; reason, he has a girlfriend. I wonder why guys who have girlfriend still wanna flirt so much with the girls out there? Well, they can treat girls nicely but not over like randomly stood behind me and massaged for me when I were tired (ps : I am not close with him). If we were close, I can understand la. 

My point is guy who has girlfriend can be friend and close with other girls' friends but  not too over until those actions can lead to misunderstanding or what. 

Commitment

Finally, I "feel" what is commitment about.

You may be curious and ask "Really? You were so active in high school- sports, uniform bodies, GB- and you can manage your studies well also? I think you are quite good at managing your commitments la~~ "

I gotta say that:

Previously, in high school, the time is fixed (i.e. time to go school, time to join koko, time to go GB). I just need to go according to the routine. Well, maybe there are some events, but compare to university, that was like kacang seriously. University got so many events that I need to commit a lot with my team, especially in student councils- because we are there to serve students' needs.

As for now, 

The main responsibility of mine is to study. University level is sooooooo @@, I've tried very hard in doing my assignments and stuffs but I still can't get an A (i.e. 90 and above); how can I get my First Class Honour then? :(((( Next, I am currently the vice president of HELP University's Psychology Department. Honesty speaking, I can feel the level of commitment that I need to put in, it is much more than GB. In GB, there are still other officers, BB, or church members to work things out. In student council, it is either we do the job or no one else will do. Sooooo, my commitment in GB will be lessen for the coming months. However, I know I will learn a lot in student council even though it is stressful and etc. 

Speaking about commitment, it reminds me of Boey who spoke about commitment of love to me. He told me what he broke up with her ex-girlfriend because of the different level of commitment. At that particular moment, I only "understood" the definition of commitment but I did not "understand" the deeper meaning of it; now, I do. Then, I wonder did I commit enough in my previous relationship? Ermmmmmmm, I think I did. Well, one of the reasons that I am not ready to involve in relationship now is because at this period I know I am unable to commit in relationship  due to the workloads I have in hands. However, if the right man is willing to wait until I am done with all these- studies and councils, I will then show my commitment to him. 

:)