Since that thing happened, i dunno how to describe my feeling..
i tot it is just a plain between us..
i tot later i will hv the courage to ask him the Qs...
yes, i did have the courage but then i dun feel wanna do so..
at first i just tot of how to tell him..as u support me too..
but then later, i just so worry bout u..
i noe u dun wish me to say the word anymore,
coz the words will only make u more suffer and sad...
i din hv mood in doing anything..
eventhough in church.. normally i will hv lots fun and laughter around with them..
but then tat day, i cant play my trumpet and i dun hv the mood to play..
i noe the score there written do, but then i blow so...
it's written fa n i blow la... n so on..
when practising dance, i just smile m laugh for while..
then got moody back again..
i dunno y.... eventhough i broke up with someone last time..
i was ok than this..
then i was ordered by officers to bring back the CD
listen the music and see where need to improve and think of the dance steps..
at first i was quite concentrated on my work... edit this n that..
then suddenly, the moody finds me again...
so, i went to view ur blog...those last and previous posts...
- that was the first time i do so... -
then i realised lots things...
u care bout me more than i feel from my sense and stuff...
i really dunno wat to say... as i hurt u many times...
n i noe u seriuosly hurt a lot this time although u insist saying not..
i also dunno y i so worry bout u in stead of him..
as my fren ask me dun care bout u n go talk to him..
but i seriously dun wish n dun wan to do so...
i also dunno y...
i really dunno wat i feel now, wat am i doing and wat am i thining of...?
- this time is real, coz normally i just wanna escape from the truth and act dunno-
this time, my mind is totally blank...
somehow, i also busy editing the song and dance..
i seriuosly gotta brain burst...
hm..i wish n i think i can cope with it...
may god bless me
-AMEN-
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